I have been blessed with a gift that sometimes turns into a curse! I can spot spelling mistakes and typing errors from a mile away. In fact, it’s more like they spot me. They jump out at me, poke me in the eye, or stab me in the back. They give me a fright whenever they please.
Think of the following hypothetical scenario:
*******************************
My family and I are seated around an inviting looking table at a stylish restaurant, a beautifully bound menu politely offered by a handsome waiter. Looking forward to picking out a delicacy that tickles my fancy on this particular occasion, I skim through the mouth-watering choices; mind, body and soul stimulated by the anticipation of the sensual tastebud-pampering I am about to receive. The moment is so perfect it is almost orgasmic, until the unthinkable brings me crashing down…
**COCK-AU-VIN**, the menu screams out at me with blinding clarity. My incredulous stare burns a hole through the page. I quite literally faint for a split second, then force myself back into upright position just before my head hits the table. I cannot believe this is happening yet again. Hardly able to afford such luxury, I have chosen an upmarket restaurant today to avoid exactly this kind of illiterate attack. But apparently there is no such thing as a safe place. While most people would burst out laughing, for me another experience of culinary bliss is ruined before it even begins. I get up, apologize, and leave. The others exchange knowing glances and gracefully accept my need to escape. They have learned to enjoy their meals just as much without the eccentric one.
I do not mention the reason for my premature departure to the waiter or the owner of the restaurant. Too many times I have pointed out similarly unfortunate blunders, only to find them left in their embarrassing original state later on. For all I care, they can embarrass themselves for as long as they like, and they may well lose a few patrons because of it. Surely, I am not the only one! Or am I?
*******************************
You have probably guessed that this story is entirely fictional and slightly exaggerated in order to enhance your reading pleasure :-} Fortunately, I am not fanatic enough about other people’s mistakes to become emotionally distressed over them.
However, I do find the sheer amount of spelling and typing errors that I encounter on a daily basis rather worrying, especially because the vast majority of them are accidental typos that could easily be avoided. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! Rarely do I come across a website or a printed text that does not contain at least some minor assault on my acute sense of grammatical correctness. Mind you, flawless writing does exist and when I see it, I appreciate it immensely.
Of course, some spelling mistakes are extraordinarily funny. For example, in the German language you can turn a very difficult woman into a nymphomaniac simply by swapping two letters around. The restaurant menu is just one example providing endless opportunity for silly blunders, and luckily, the resulting damage is usually small, because bad spelling is not automatically associated with bad cooking. However, in different contexts the damage potential of an error in the wrong place at the wrong time can be huge. For example, think of what can happen when a ‘boardroom’ becomes a ‘bored room’, a ‘manager’ turns into a ‘manger’, or a decimal point accidentally moves a place or two…
Too many creators of written text do not put enough effort into keeping their material free of errors, although there are plenty of consumers out there who not only notice but remember, too. It certainly has a negative effect on first impressions, something that is normally a major concern and avoided at all costs. So why let it happen? Underestimating the consumer NEVER pays. Written material is often the first and only quality measure available to a potential customer. There is no doubt in my mind that the simple spelling error, which can be so easily avoided, is costing enormous amounts of business and money around the world every day.
Therefore, if you are not already applying rigorous quality control, such as proofreading and editing, to your website or print materials, please consider to do so in the future. I can do it for you in English and in German language. Have a look at my ‘Services’ page for affordable, negotiable and flexible rates. If not convinced, there are plenty of other proofreading and editing services available, (e.g. PSI Tutor, see blog roll). Don’t put it off any longer.
Yvonne (email: yvonne.drazic@bigpond.com or yvonne.drazic@gmail.com) or leave a comment here.
Filed under: Writing services | Tagged: business, Deutsch, editing, English, German, grammar, humour, language, marketing, print, proofreading, quality, spelling, websites, writing
Hi Yvonne,
How I loved the spelling post. As somewhat of a philologist at heart I certainly relate to the imagined reaction to “COCK AU VIN”. Whilst I, too, would not leave the establishment, rather this left brain’s reaction would be to laugh.
I have to say that I am also a technophile, and love spell checkers. However, here’s the rub, as they say, a spell checker cannot find wrong words correctly spelled. For example as I type this there’s no little red line under the word cock, it’s perfectly spelled. Of course, being pedantic you could say cock in wine rather than mix your languages. Coq is, of course French for rooster, or cock.
But want to hear me make a fuss? Try using the wrong word. Here in the United States they do not know the “Queen’s English” and frequently change the language. As Winston Churchill said about Great Britain and America, “two nations divided by a common language.” Try the true meanings for “alternate” and “alternative”. Alternate should mean to switch between two possible states, like red and green at a traffic light. Alternative should imply a different course of action not excluding other alternatives. Even the US Webster’s Dictionary admits to the wrong use of alternate in the U.S.A.
Then we come to the really confusing part. My wife told me to turn left at the next traffic light, which I did. Wrong! She meant the one after the next light, the so-called next light being “this light” even though we hadn’t arrived at it yet.
So what can we do, Yvonne? Laugh, and for the sake of peace don’t complain!
Cheers.
Thanks John! You are so right not to take this too seriously. Neither do I, I just got carried away a bit while writing the post. Language mishaps can indeed be very funny, and mine usually happen through the spoken rather than the written word. Since English is my second language, I pronounce things wrongly sometimes. For example, shortly after emigrating I bought a top at the “Eunuch boutique” instead of the “Unique boutique”, and told someone that I liked to eat crap instead of crab. Trust me, I got laughed at a few times over the years
I’m glad you liked the post,
Yvonne